Monday, May 7, 2007

Day One of not treating myself like shit for screwing up has gone well, I think. I think I'm going to dub the next phase of this Mission: Mediocre, because I somehow need to convince myself it's okay to be a fat, kinda lazy, health challenged woman who's trying to do a little sumpin' sumpin' for a healthier body, and a little sumpin' less for her largish ass. Wait...positive self-talk. some periods in history my lovely lady lumps would be revered, nay, WORSHIPPED by men. I am Catherine of Aragon...I AM Catherine of Aragon.


So, since tonight was one of my Job One straight to Job Two days, I didn't even pretend like I was going to get up at 5:30 to do yoga, or to pop right out of my car to run through the neighborhood. I know, deep in my heart of hearts, that I'm not yet That Person. I don't love to exercise. I don't miss it when I haven't done it. I'm not training for anything, so I can bear to have a day off. Maybe in a few weeks or months I actually will want to bring a pair of running shoes so I can catch an evening workout before dinner, but all I can focus on driving home from Job Two right now is how quickly my WW Confetti Chicken is going to be passing through my mouth and into my stomach. Hopefully before I pass out from faux-hunger and crash into the Suburban with the "W, '04" bumpersticker in front of me (although that might be considered an act of public service).

I also didn't make a ten-bullet list of important things to do before I went to bed for tonight, which is great. I found this Post-It under my desk I had from last Monday, and it was an absolute homage to perfectionism, all done up in tri-colored ink and splashed with imperatives like TWO LOADS OF LAUNDRY BEFORE BED!!! LESSON PLANS TYPED AND PRINTED!!! I sort of wanted to bitchslap myself after reading it, partly because...why am I such a jackass? and also partly because I never really did any of the things on the Post-It. So this is unrealistic expectations equals no disappointments equals no sulking over a Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzard at 10:30 tonight. Yay for breaking the cycle of perfectionism.

I do have a question for the fellow Weight Watchers, though:

During the introductory meeting, my WW leader said that they had made a revised points goal scale to accommodate age and frame and activity level. According to my modified goal, since I'm young and a teacher, I should be eating 31 points. The WW e-Tools just say 28 and they don't give me the option to put in the modifications. 31 points seems like a lot, but you know...if I can get 3 free points of the deal I"m going to take them. Anybody know whether she was right about this and how to change it on the Points Tracker? Merci beaucoup.


Lori said...

I don't know how to change it on the point tracker but 3 points is about 150 extra calories, give or take (depending on the fiber).

Maybe you can just pretend you've exercised and give yourself 3 extra points for activity and knock it off that way.

Ah, the exercise dilemma. I went from bitching and moaning about exercise and being happy that events prevented me from going to really being a bit gung-ho about it. There was no magical moment that I woke up and said aha! PTL! but it was more, "Gee, I miss doing that. I guess I'd better do something." I have to say, being kneecapped makes very slothful about the gym. I'm allowed 10-12 minutes on the bike as much as I want to do it but I'm back to where I was -- gym? I don't feeeeeel like it.

BTW, your list of things to do? It's only a tad bit perfectionistic if you had done it in Power Point or glued glitter on the list. ;-)

Be nice to yourself with these crazy jobs. It's easy to justify "I need" when you're tired, hungry and exhausted. I'm just saying. Not that I've had any experience first hand, ha ha.

lisa jane said...

I sent you an email to my priv blog, let me know if you get it :)

Anonymous said...

Hello, Ms. Perfectionist (Mrs.? Sorry, I don't know)! Haha, just kidding. Hey, at least you were trying to plan. I don't think I've ever, EVER, written a to do list, in my life. Maybe I'd get more shit done if I'd try it once in a while. But most likely I'd just feel worse for planning on doing something and then not doing it.

On points, I do WW Online and my "personal POINTS quiz" has all of the modifications on it... maybe you should email them, or ask your leader why eTools doesn't have it?

And thanks for commenting on my blog! It made me feel important!

Jarrett Meyer said...

Regarding the WW: If you don't continue to lose weight, the number of allowed points will drop. So if 31 points is too many and you go 3 weeks without a 1 pound loss, it will fall to 29 points.

Personally, I think they made this "activity adjustment" to get a few more weeks of payment out of you.

Kate said...

Sorry I haven't been to visit for a while Erin... looks like theres lots for me to catch up on! Will make my way through it :)

Kate :)

A Happy Wife said...

... I am Cathrine of Aragon..

Lol, you don't wanna be Catherine of Aragon! Her beoved hubby tossed her aside for her lady of waiting and declared their daughter illegitimate. Of course, she was lucky enough not to loose her head, something most of his other wives didn't manage :)