Friday, April 13, 2007

I'm still here!

Wow, I feel like I broke up with this blog and then saw it at a Starbucks a few months later and had to have that really awful conversation where we both say "You look really good" but actually mean "So, are you sleeping with anyone right now?" until one of us finally bolts for the door and whips out their cellphone to call everyone they know.

Yeah, something like that.

I miss this blog! The Great Period of Angst from early February seems to have finally passed by, and I want to write. I just haven't really had a lot of stuff to write about. My poor gym card hasn't been swiped since my grandma's funeral, and I'm not eating spectacularly well, but I'm also not binging either.

I toyed for a few weeks with vegetarianism after seeing Fast Food Nation, then back to the GI Diet with meat, then veganism, then quasi-veganism for a day (meaning I avoided milk but felt no compunction about eating chocolate covered espresso beans) and now I've landed rather comfortably back on whole foods vegetarianism and it's going really, really well. I don't know how or when it happened, but at some point the mature part of my brain that usually only gets dusted off when I have to pay bills or pretend to disapprove of the armpit farts my kindergartners make when I turn my back decided that it would be important for me to develop the ability to stop eating when I'm hungry and not eat nasty junk food unless I'm really, really craving it.

So far, the strategy's been good to me and I've been holding steady at between 221-222 pounds even without exercise or watching my calories very strictly. There definitely were whole weeks where I DID overeat on purpose and I'm sure had those not happened, I would be a bit lower. Being a vegetarian has also really made me appreciate how subtly good vegetables can be if you take the time to prepare them correctly. It just makes me feel sort of calm about future dieting endeavors knowing my body doesn't want to consume whole acres of food anymore, and even if it does I'll likely attack an avocado grove these days rather than, say, an Arby's.

I was thinking fondly about this blog, and about how I miss all of you and the sense of purpose it used to give me when a woman I work with interrupted my train of thought to ask if I had lost weight. She said she noticed from the back I was smaller.

Did you hear that? The back. Which means my ass, my ASS! IS! SMALLER!

And that's really all I needed to hear. I'll do all the official weigh-in stuff on Sunday, but I'm fairly certain I'm back, because even though I've typed those words before, this time it actually feels good to do it.


Shauna said...

woohoo! great to see you popping up in my Bloglines thingy this morning :)

Abba said...

It's about time. I thought I was going to have to make a visit to KC just to come and drag you to the computer. Glad to see you back.

Bruce said...

Welcome back. We have missed you. Glad to hear that you are re-energized. Sometimes time is what you need.

lisa jane said...

just lovely :) Glad to have you back, glad you took the time you needed to xoxox

Jarrett Meyer said...

Welcome back! It's nice to just sit and write about what you think you might do in the future or where you've failed in the past. At least planning is a start. :)