Thursday, January 18, 2007

Our little section of Missouri has been iced out of school since last Friday, which makes the sixth day in a row I've been without purpose. Over the weekend and even on the Monday holiday I thought this was absolutely brilliant...sort of an extension of our cruelly short Christmas break and a chance to recover from night after night of family obligations, parties, and the inevitable fat/sugar coma that seems to hit on New Year's day and doesn't lighten up until St. Patrick's.

By Tuesday I realized this weather-induced solitude was more trouble than good, because it just meant we were going to have to hold classes later in the spring and also that this semester would be painfully hard to jumpstart when we were finally allowed to come back. By Wednesday I had turned into a stark-raving lunatic, bored to the point that doing something productive just seemed illogical, so I spent most of my day staring out the window, napping, and scheduling the next time I was available to nap. I couldn't write, couldn't clean, couldn't work, and could barely drag myself to the gym to exercise, even though I did.

I realized so much of my life is based on the principle of inertia, because when I return home from work I still have that sense of urgency and accomplishment, and the lovely adrenaline that comes from getting things done. It all blends seamlessly into one long routine...get up, work, drive home, clean, work again, work out, sleep. I like it when it's that way, because I don't have enough time to really think about things and risk rationalizing myself out of doing them. Even on the weekends I have things to do, and time scheduled to rest from the week before I jump back in again. I LIKE my life of quiet desperation...it keeps me honest and on track.

With this break though...lord, it sucks. I think too much, and talk myself down about the progress I'm making. I ruminate and fret over silly things, and the sense of torpor I create makes it just incredibly hard to do the stuff I know I need to do to keep progressing with getting healthy. I'm also inclined to do really stupid things like adopting a Bull Mastiff (I didn't, but I got dangerously close last night) and buying art supplies to see if I could draw (I tried, and managed to ruin a shirt while pasteling a bizarre picture of a woman and some random color blocking).

When I look back over these entries next year (hopefully after having completed an Ironman or while doing a headstand or something equally unlikely) the lesson I hope I've learned is that, when possible, keep as busy as you can so inertia doesn't settle in. Quiet time is nice, but definitely overrated if you're not using it to actually rest and rejuvenate.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to look at ads for ponies, because having a pony tied up on the deck of my apartment is obviously WAY more sensible than owning a dog.

7 comments:

Lori said...

Get a miniature pony for the patio and then a bearded dragon to keep it company....

You know, you really did with boredom because I would have eaten myself silly in the past. We haven't had the bad weather you've had (YET). And you made it out to the gym.

I know what you mean about too much inertia. I hope the weather improves and you can go back to work.

Galen said...

I'm not sure what part of Missouri you're in, but I do know, well used to know a family near Springfield that sold Irish Wolfhounds. They make better pets than ponies.

They are forcasting MORE winter weather here in the Dallas area again tonight, so I suppose I am trying to keep it here instead of having it sent up your way...lol.

You need to post a pic of the painting you did..I think that would be really cool. Anyway, hope your night and day will be great.

Galen

lisa jane said...

I was just reading your "diet " history and you and I have a lot in common.Non purging bulimia?isnt that ridiculous? Im a psych student and last time I heard they were working on having binge eating disorder in the DSM 5 in a category all on its own.Before i think they classified it as EDNOS or something

Anyway the gi thing sound sensible but check out this website
http://www.normaleating.com/
its fantastic,no hint of a diet.

anyway I hope i get to know you better :)

Erin said...

Galen, we're supposed to get 6 inches of snow on Sunday! You have to do a better job of this winter-wrangling for me. :)

I would be happy to post my "art" if it weren't so lame. I'm not much of an artist...I just like to fool around with pencils and paint and stuff. Maybe someday if I can ever master the art of drawing a straight line..

Erin said...

Lisa, thanks for the link. The site looks very helpful...I'm looking forward to browsing it.

lisa jane said...

You know i'm sure there is something I should be doing,washing,cleaning,work???But instead i have sat on my butt for the last half hour transfixed by your archives.
Your ex was a dick.
I have a super big blogger crush on you.

Galen said...

Erin, you are more than welcome to send any and all snow my way...I will be happy to take it and play!